SOMEWHERE DOODLING (SP) -- All kinds of things in the works here at Sporting Press. First up, Sporting Press is supplying art for a new series of semi-animated comedy webisodes up in Oklahoma on the Sports Animal's Web page. Some of the art is currently featured on the SP front page. Check it out at the sports/talk radio station's Web site.
Also ... is there a return to the airwaves in store for Wild Bill Aronson? Stay tuned for that news. It could happen.
Sporting Press is also supplying art for the OU-Texas supplement in SportsPage Dallas, a weekly sports tab available throughout the Metroplex.
Finally, SP continues to look at new options for Spike's Gravy Barn bulletin board to make a return.
Sylvester Gupta and Mannie Johnson, who stole 1000s of chickens from local farmers, were pardoned early Saturday morning by Arkansas Governor Mike Beebe. According to Beebe, the two thieves were stealing chickens to raise money to buy an SUV for Darren McFadden. “This was a good thing,” said Beebe, “and by God it would have been a crime to punish them for their thoughtfulness.”
“However,” said Benton County sheriff Red Hostetter, “then the Razorbacks got their asses beat by Mazouri, 38-7. Sumthin was wrong ‘cause Darren didn’t get but one fuckin’ TD and looked like he wuz thinkin’ ‘bout somethin’ else…like his SUV fer instance. Well it’s a goddang felony in Arkansas to “mess with the Razorbacks”, so we arrested them two mowrons again. This time for keeps!”
Posted by: AP: Sporting Press Execs Pardoned for Stealing Chickens; Then Arrested Again | January 02, 2008 at 12:03 PM
Arkansas Attorney General Dustin McDaniel dropped the "Messing with the Razorbacks" charges against two Sporting Press executives early today.
According to McDaniel, the arrest was made in error and was "probably the result of sour grapes over the Mazouri ass kicking."
"Besides," McDaniel added, "the less public fuss over the SUV thang, the better."
Posted by: AP: Arkansas AG Drops | January 03, 2008 at 06:20 AM
Not likely, according to all sources. "Them boys ain't found Christ," says Gibbs. "And they ain't joined Huckabee's Army for Christ neither."
Heard the latest penis sheath joke? Of course you haven't.
"A New Guinea native suddenly transported to 21st-century New York, with the cars, technology, and skyscrapers, would probably look around and think, "Yeah, this is all pretty cool, but they haven't invented the penis sheath yet."
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/danliebert/
Posted by: AP: Joe Gibbs to take CEO Position at Sporting Press? | January 09, 2008 at 11:47 AM
Sporting Press unveiled its first automatic pay toilets today. SP big-wigs seem to think it's a great idea.
"This is a truly historic occasion," one said.
"People have been clamoring for it for a long time. They absolutely have," somebody else said. "Of interest is that you pay to get OUT of the toilet. The longer it takes to pinch your loaf, the more expensive it is. Hell, we have people taking 2 and 3 hour dumps. This is over."
Posted by: AP: Sporting Press Installs Pay Toilets | January 11, 2008 at 02:11 PM
Hundreds of thousands of SP readers have written in to complain about the Pay Toilet Story. The vast majority believe that this story was not original and posted before a couple of years ago. Some of the letters contained very mean things. Here are some of the insults that readers directed at AP:
"Assholes!, Bastards!, Cocksuckers!, Dingleberries!, Enema Bandits!, Fuckheads!, Gorillas!, Homos!, Idiots!, Jackanapes!, Klingons!, Liars!, Motherfuckers!, Nappy Headed Hos!, Orangutans!, Pissants!, Queers!, Rapscallions!, Stoopit Morons!, Turd Eaters!, Urine Drinkers!, Vomit Suckers!, Whores!, Xylophones!, Yippies! Zoroastrians!"
Well you may recall that SP moved when it’s old HQ was demolished. This was the second time that SP has installed pay toilets.
Jeez.
Posted by: AP: Readers Pound AP for Pay Toilet Story! | January 14, 2008 at 08:54 AM
The AP confirms that God has a Laz-E-Boy Cloud he sits on. It's mentioned in the Bible towards the back somewhere.
All Bible scholars know this, the ones who are worth a shit anyway.
Posted by: AP: God's Laz-E-Boy Cloud Mentioned in Bible | January 17, 2008 at 08:46 AM
Schubert Stromboli, noted Bible scholar, says that it is true that “God resides mostly on a LAZ-E-Boy shaped cloud”. However, Mr. Stromboli expressed concern about the scale of the drawing by the SP cartoonist.
“As everyone knows, God is 950’ tall, so the drawing looks kind of odd. Then again, it IS a cartoon so I guess we can make allowances,” said Stromboli.
God’s height is known to be 950’ because Oral Roberts founded a university after seeing the 900’ tall Jesus. Everyone knows that God is 50’ taller than Jesus.
Posted by: AP: Bible Scholar Comments on God’s LAZ-E-Boy Cloud | January 18, 2008 at 06:38 AM
http://www.zug.com/pranks/colon/colon-cleansing-02.jpg
FYI.
Posted by: Attention NABL | January 18, 2008 at 11:51 AM
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Posted by: HooperZelma | July 27, 2011 at 08:54 PM