Sooners Alone at No. 1

SOMEWHERE IN NORMAN (TL) -- Who's the new No. 1 team in the country? The team that has been number one for more weeks than any other team in college football history ...

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[Big week for Oklahoma football]

Dick Lynch even died.

November 16, 1957 NORMAN, Okla. (AP)-Oklahoma's record streak of forty-seven football victories was ended today by a Notre Dame team that marched 80 yards in the closing minutes for a touchdown and a 7‚0 triumph. Oklahoma, ranked No. 2 in the nation and an 18-point favorite, couldn't move against the rock-wall Notre Dame line and the Sooners saw another of its streaks shattered-scoring in 123 consecutive games.

...

Notre Dame's touchdown drive, biting off short but consistent yardage against the Sooners' alternate team, carried from the 20 after an Oklahoma punt went into the end zone. Time after time, Pietrosante picked up the necessary yard he needed as the Irish smashed through the Oklahoma line. Notre Dame moved to the 8 and the Sooner first team came in to try to make the third Sooner goal-line stand of the day. Pietrosante smashed four yards through center and Dick Lynch was stopped for no gain. On third down, Williams went a yard through center. Then Lynch crossed up the Sooners and rolled around his right end to score standing up. Monty Stickles converted to give Notre Dame the upset and end collegiate football's longest winning streak.

"http://www.nytimes.com/packages/html/sports/year_in_sports/11.16.html

[Big week for Oklahoma football, addendum]

Nick Pietrosante died on February 6, 1988. Revenge for his part in the outrage of November 16, 1957, caught up with him even sooner than Lynch's demise.

I wish we could believe that Bud Wilkinson kicked their asses when they got to Heaven, but Bud is in Hell. Nick and Dick went to Heaven and each got 120 sexually experienced drop-dead gorgeous sluts to play with (proving once again the superiority of Christianity over Islam).

[Sporting Press Cat-Eating Festival Draws Fire]

At Sporting Press they believe that eating cat burgers – and fried cat legs and tails – can cure venereal disease.

It is also believed that feline meat serves as an aphrodisiac and gives the diner a giant boner.

The cats are bred especially for this festival – which takes place at the end of September on the Day of Santa Satirca.

But it has generated fury among animal rights groups.

A PETA spokesman said: "“If Sporting Press employees really eat poor old Moggy because they think his meat cures bronchitis, that’s about as bizarre as it gets, although remember that Asians eat monkey bits thinking that will cure their impotence and even Europeans butcher poor old Bessie the cow or Henny Penny the hen, because they see them as nothing more than a bit of nourishment. Just when we give these guys a bailout check, they go and do something like this! Goddamitee!”

[Q&A: How much does SP pay that Brick guy?]

According to SP's Bucky Hostetter, Brick is paid $250,000.00 per article. "It don't make no difference about length or content. He's worth every dang cent. Now maybe you morons will see why we needed a federal bailout."

[Q&A: How much did that Brick guy lose on the OU-UT game?]

According to SP's Bucky Hostetter, Brick has "done lost his ass. He has had to sell his Teflon anus even. Yeah, it's bad all right. Course he makes so much off articles, he'll be all right soon enough."

[SP exec denies]

SP's Bucky Hostetter said today that "it's a crockacrap that that Brick guy done re-wrote his story! Furthermore," Hostetter added, "if he really did go broke he wouldn't have a Teflon® anus any more now would he? Well trust me he still has a Teflon® anus 'cause I done seen it. What do we have to do, get that Brick guy to drop trou fer you morons?"