Brick's Picks: Super Bowl Edition

By Brick Stevens

SportingPress.com Football Writer

TAMPA (SP) -- Some people think the worst thing about the Super Bowl, a showcase for corporate advertising occasionally interrupted by a football game, is the hype. The hype doesn’t bother this broadcaster. What I can’t deal with is the Roman numerals.

I don’t even like saying the word “numerals.” But “Roman numbers” just doesn’t sound right. It’s like Arizona Cardinals. 

I’m good with Roman numerals up to three, or “III” as they write in Rome. After that, none of the rules make sense. I took an informal office survey and only one person in the SportingPress.com newsroom could correctly write “43” in Roman Numerals, and he was laid off shortly thereafter.

If I have this correct, this is Super Bowl XXXADVIL.

Why have we allowed this practice to continue?

In 1944, America’s Greatest Generation stormed the beaches of Normandy to stop the metric system from invading the United States. George W. Bush waged war against French Fries. There are currently clandestine operations underway to rid America of Latin and that creepy eyeball on top of a pyramid that stares at you from the back of a dollar bill.

And yet, no one – other than me – has lifted a finger to stop Roman numerals. Not only have I lifted a finger, I have extended it in the general direction of Rome and its numerals. I don’t think I am alone, because as I drive the highways and byways of this great country of ours, I am constantly passing likeminded citizens who extend a finger at me in a heartwarming show of support for my cause – and I am touched deeply.

Super Bowl Preview 

By the end of Sunday’s game, every member of the Steelers defense will have knocked Cards QB Kurt Warner to the ground at least once. Unfortunately, Warner will have already completed a pass to Larry Fitzgerald or Anquan Boldin each time. Warner won’t be the recipient of the game’s hardest hit, however. That will come when Arizona offensive coordinator Todd Haley, having exhausted his supply of Arizona Cardinal players, trainers and cheerleaders to yell at, decides to scream at Bruce Springsteen during the halftime show and is clobbered with a baritone sax by Clarence “The Big Man” Clemons. Steelers and Cardinals alike will applaud the hit.

In the second half, Steelers coach Mike Tomlin will regret his decision to not field an offense this season.

Arizona 31
Pittsburgh 24

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Bricksters Infallibility On Course]

Of course the Cardinals will win 31-24. The Brickster ain't never wrong and this has been proven time and again over the decades.

I have every cent and all my property riding on his prediction. And I ain't even worried....

[Lipsmack]

All us Lipsmackers raise our finger to you as well. Solidarity will prevail. It just scares me that they took valuable time in our schoolin' to learn us the proper rules of subtracting X from L and testing us on it. . But never had enough time at the end of the school year to get past the Korean war.

[Lipsmack]

And I believe the score should be XXXI-XXIV as predicted above.

[Still infallible]

Sure a howling mob of losing bettors tried to tar and feather the Brickster last night. If his 400 lb. wife hadn't cold-cocked the mob leaders, the Brickster would have been in big trouble.

Always remember that Sporting Press is not here to serve the masses. The Brickster's prediction contained certain cryptographic information that enabled The Elect to make a bundle off his prediction.

Today is a wonderful, wonderful day for The Elect.