LOS ANGELES (SP) -- USC quarterback Mark Sanchez, a fourth-year junior, will skip his senior year and turn his back on millions of dollars to enter the NFL draft, against the wishes of coach Pete Carroll.
He announced his plans at an uncomfortably tense press conference on Thursday, the deadline for underclassmen to declare for the draft. After Sanchez made his announcement, a visibly annoyed Carroll took the microphone and blasted the decision.
"I am disappointed in that the information that we have wasn't compelling enough to make it clear to him," he said. "Our view of it is, and as you guys will see as you dig into this a little bit more, you'll see that these early entry quarterbacks are less than 50-50 successful."
After making his comments, Carroll left the press conference without taking any questions and barely acknowledged Sanchez as the two passed, pausing only long enough to yank a football out of the quarterback's hands and holler, "IT'S MINE AND I'M TAKING IT HOME!!!" Carroll then stuck his tongue out at Sanchez.
SportingPress.com caught Carroll in the parking lot on his way out of USC's Heritage Hall and asked for more details on the "compelling information." Carroll told SportingPress.com that he reminded Sanchez that the quarterback would be walking away from a lot of money to play in the NFL.
"Look at Reggie Bush," Carroll said. "He left USC early and left behind a home for his parents, new cars, hundreds of thousands of dollars in spending money ... for what? He's playing in a freakin' toilet bowl. Where's Mark going to go? Detroit? Do you know that the temperature is today in Detroit? Four freakin' degrees! That's what it is. Four freakin' degrees! It's not Southern California, I can assure you!!!"
"It's selfish of him," Carroll continued. "Now I've got to take this team into Columbus with a rookie quarterback next season. Might as well mark that one down as a loss. Then we'll lose to some sorry Pac 10 team, like we always do, and suddenly we're a two-loss team with no shot at the national championship. That will cost the university millions and it will cost me millions in bonuses."
Carroll angrily threw the football at a cameraman.
Sanchez, meanwhile, stood by his decision.
"I know I'm walking away from a lot of money and perks by leaving USC," said Sanchez, who's on pace to graduate in May. "But I think it's important to get your degree and enter the workplace."
Think of it this way. Since the series began in 1926, North Carolina has beaten Clemson in every basketball game ever played in Chapel Hill. It is now 2009.
Thus it stands to reason that God wants things this way. Only a fool would tinker with changing the outcome of a contest that is so vital to the continued well-being of humanity and, face it, the entire Cosmos.
Only the Antichrist would be desirous of interfering with God's Way just so he could pad his basketball resume. Yet this is exactly what Oliver Purnell, Clemson's otherwise very fine coach, has in mind tomorrow night, 1/21. So Purnell must be the Antichrist or at least acting like the Antichrist.
Be afraid, be very afraid. Besides, it is hilarious that Clemson always loses this game. Be a shame to take this comedy routine off of the national stage. Plus, we need continuity in our lives.
Posted by: Is Clemson's Oliver Purnell the AntiChrist? | January 20, 2009 at 10:13 AM
The Tar Heels saved human civilizaton last night with a 94-70 shellacking of Clemson.
Only The Elect understand that the continuity of this streak is the only thing holding humanity back from the Abyss.
Posted by: Cosmic Calamity Averted | January 22, 2009 at 06:11 AM