MIAMI (SP) -- Shortly after leading the Florida Gators to a national championship with a 24-14 win over Oklahoma, junior quarterback Tim Tebow announced he would skip his senior season and ascend directly into heaven.
"Sorry I'm late," Tebow began. "There was a six-year-old boy with cancer in row 54 and I had to make my way through the crowd to heal
him."
"I want to start by saying that playing quarterback for the University of Florida, winning two national championships, has been a great honor. There has been some speculation about my future and I want to clear that up right now," he continued.
"Don't go, Tim!" a reporter shouted from the back of the room.
"After much consideration, I have decided to skip my senior season at the University of Florida and ascend directly into Heaven," Tebow announced. Upon making the announcement, Tebow was bathed in a blinding white light and vanished.
In response to the news, ESPN announced they will have a month-long tribute to Tebow. ESPN2 will now be known as ESPN-TEBOW and will feature Tebow highlights (including home videos of Tebow's childhood), re-airings of past interviews, Tebow-centric analysis by ESPN air personalities, a Tebow quiz show and a reality show to find the "most Tebow-like" person in America.
"He wasn't just the greatest player in college football history," said a college football writer at the press conference, tears streaming down his face. "He might have been the greatest person to ever walk on earth."
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Posted by: discount coach | July 04, 2010 at 05:48 PM
As a journalist, I want to say that I fully agree with "anissa" - this article is not meant to ridicule Tim Tebow but the sports media who have turned him into some sort of deity. He is a great college football player - one of the best - and, he has done some wonderful things for children in the Phillipines, but he has also been blessed with those opportunities because his parents are missionaries. Many, many collegiate athletes contribute to their communities - they just don't receive the breadth of media coverage that Tim Tebow has. Sam Bradford is, in fact, an incredible football player, Big Orange, and also a model student with aspirations of entering the legal profession. Why are you so passionate about Tim Tebow anyway? I thought Vols and Gators were sworn enemies.
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