America's greatest actress of all time, Marilyn Chambers, keels over dead.
How can we go on?
Posted by: Ah What's the Use? | April 15, 2009 at 12:00 PM
Of course most of you have never been to a polo game on account of your financial status. Let’s face it, it’s just us rich folks who get to play or even watch polo.
Anyway, I went to my first polo game down in Florida a few days ago. God it was nice! Talk about Snootsville! There wasn’t anyone there who wasn’t a member of The Elect, not one (well, except for the servants). Everyone drove up in their Jags, Benzs, Bentleys, etc. and when they got out of their cars you shoulda seen the threads they had on! Then everybody got ready for the main event.
Just before the horses came out of the barn, the vet injected poison into each one. So just when the guys were getting ready to mount up the horses started keeling over dead. Most died instantly, but for added excitement a few kicked and thrashed around for a good half hour.
God it was fun! I hope that all of you can make enough money one day to go to a polo game.
Posted by: Polo is one cool game | April 24, 2009 at 05:24 AM
Early this morning a gigantic sky serpent attacked Sporting Press and devoured all of the sportswriters.
Sporting Press issued the following statement: "NOW do you understand why we haven't updated the site in two weeks? For Christ's sake you morons, all of our sportswriters have been eaten by a sky serpent!"
Billy Nesbitt, a typesetter who witnessed the event, said "that sumbitch was huge! He was a good 150' long and 10 feet in diameter in his midsection. Them sportswriters didn't have a chance!"
By coincidence the current issue of "Fortean Times" features sky serpents and the devastation they often wreak on humanity.
Posted by: Sky Serpent Attacks Sporting Press! | April 28, 2009 at 12:52 PM
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