By Brick Stevens
GAINESVILLE, FLA. (SP) - Fans watched in horrified disbelief Saturday as Florida quarterback Tim Tebow left Saturday's game against Kentucky in the back of an ambulance.
For many Gator fans, it confirmed their worst fears: Tebow is human.
"A lot of us thought he was, like, invincible. So this comes as a bit of a shock. I don't really know what to, like, believe now. It seems like my entire world has changed," said Debra Sandy, 21, a business major at Florida.
"If Tim Tebow is merely human ... why have rules or values? Why have morals?" said Ernest Fever, 28, an undergraduate student in the university's philosophy department.
"I'm taking a wait-and-see approach," said David Dunning, a local minister. "My guess is he returns in three days and his disciples, er, teammates will be ready for LSU."
Gator fans and Gainesville authorities were interested in Kentucky defensive end Taylor Wyndham.
"I just think it's wrong that he comes into our stadium and hits our Tim like that," said Danny Dimmer, 19. "Florida's a death penalty state. I'm just saying..."
"I suspect Wyndham is a member of the Illuminati," said Dunning.
Gainesville police detained Wyndham after the game for questioning. Smack Sports has learned that the NCAA has formally requested that Wyndham be tested for illegal substances, specifically kryptonite.
At least Bradford took his hit like a man and didn't faint and puke like a little fairy or something.
Goddamitee!
Posted by: Bradford Better Than Tebow | September 28, 2009 at 05:02 PM
Shouldn't the Sooners just forfeit the rest of the season and rest up for next year? You know, get everybody healthy and all.
Otherwise they'll be playing Buffalo in the Carquest Bowl or something.
I mean, what's the use of finishing the season? Why not just be rational and quit?
Posted by: Same question for Brick.. | October 04, 2009 at 09:52 AM
You might be right. Oklahoma might be eligible at this point for the Cash for Clunkers program.
They have road games against Texas, Kansas and Nebraska - and end the year with an always volatile game against Oklahoma State.
Carquest might be out of reach by then.
Posted by: Brick Stevens | October 04, 2009 at 01:06 PM
When the war is lost you have two options.
You can do the Hitler thing and fight to the last man and total destruction.
Or you can do the Italian/Denmark thing and quit. People make too much about the "quitter" thing if you ask me.
Posted by: Been meanin' to thank you Brickster | October 05, 2009 at 08:29 AM
Until now, I also think that what Wyndham did is wrong, he just came in the stadium and hit Tim.. Anyway, Tim is still good and now, he is chosen as the cover athlete for NCAA Football 2011! So excited 'bout it.. I'll now be pre-ordering my real name rosters.. :)
Posted by: NCAA Football 2011 Rosters | May 24, 2010 at 01:30 AM