Brick's Picks: The Top 11 Bowl Games

 

1) BCS National Championship Game (Jan. 7): 
Alabama (13-0) vs. Texas (13-0). Despite the fact that this game was set up from week one, there was some buyer's remorse following Texas' improbable win in the Big 12 Championship. The game looks just as good on Jan. 7 as it did in August. Brick's Pick: Roll Tide.

2) Fiesta (Jan. 4): TCU (12-0) vs. Boise State (13-0).
Two bowl games featuring two undefeated teams? The nation's top-rated defense against a QB who hasn't tossed a pick? What's not to love? Brick's Pick: Horned Frogs.

3) Sun (Dec. 31): Stanford (8-4) vs. Oklahoma (7-5). 
Not sure how entertaining it will be watching potential Heisman Trophy winner Toby Gerhart lowering his head and running into Gerald McCoy and the  OU defensive line for 60 minutes, but there is not better bowl featuring two teams with a combined nine losses. Brick's Pick: Stoops wins a bowl game.

4) Sugar (Jan. 1): Cincinnati (12-0) vs. Florida (12-1). 
Notre Dame coach in waiting Brian Kelly borrows Tim Tebow's scripture-laden eye black for his post-game interview, hoping it will distract the Irish faithful from the beatdown Florida delivers. Brick's Pick: Tim Tebow goes out a winner. I'm gonna cry...

5) Chick-fil-A (Dec. 31): Virginia Tech (9-3) vs. Tennessee (7-5). 
The Brickster has become a fan of sassy Lane Kiffin. Wondering what he's going to say to get in Frank Beamer's Fred Flintstone-sized head. Brick's Pick: Beamer gets the last laugh.

6) Gator (Jan. 1): West Virginia (9-3) vs. Florida State (6-6). 
So long, Bobby. Brick's Pick: Mountaineers not caught up in the sentimentality.

11) Holiday (Dec. 30): Nebraska (9-4) vs. Arizona (8-4). 
Nebraska's defense is actually as good as it appeared against Texas. If the Husker's kicker can keep his kickoffs on the field, Arizona will have a tough time reaching their 40. Brick's Picks: It wouldn't be bowl season without a Stoops losing a bowl game.

7) Rose (Jan. 1): Ohio State (10-2) vs. Oregon (10-2). 

8) Orange (Jan. 5): Georgia Tech (11-2) vs. Iowa (10-2). 

9) Capital One (Jan. 1): Penn State (10-2) vs. LSU (9-3). 

10) Champs Sports (Dec. 29): Miami (9-3) vs. Wisconsin (9-3). 

Brick's Picks: I love watching Big 10 teams lose.

Comments

[Big Ten sucks]

All real Americans hate the Big Ten.

Here's the deal though. You know that the Big Ten is thinking about adding a 12th team. What this probably means is that the current Big 12 will have to give up their name and come up with something else.

The Big Ten Nazis are quite capable of making this happen. Recall that for decades they had too many people convinced that they were the best football conference. Once they had to stop playing each other exclusively and a PAC 10 team in the Rose Bowl, the world realized what was really up. They suck.

My prediction is that the current Big 12 will disband and start concentrating on academics. Oklahoma State will lead the charge and displace Harvard and Yale as the nation's leading academic institution.

[Norman Mayor Fretting over Sun Bowl]

Norman mayor Felix Plogger said today that over half the local population has "beat feet since the Sooner's season went south. A loss to Stanford might just eliminate Norman as a viable community."

"A win," Plogger claimed, "might save Norman."

[Norman Mayor: "Phew!"]

"That was a close one," sighed Norman mayor Felix Plogger. "If weeda lost to a buncha four-eyed West Coast pussyheads like Stanford, well that woulda been the end of Norman. We've done lost half our population as it is. I just hope things get better next year. I mean, goddamitee!"

[Gilbert Arenas to join Sporting Press Basketball Team]

"Goddern!" said SP spokesman Bucky Hostetter. "What a break this is for us! That boy can play ball, plus if anyone gives us any shit....well. We're gonna tear up the rec league!"

Arenas could not be reached for comment, but it is known that he is on his way from Washington, D. C.

[Arenas Leads SP Roundballers over Bethel Baptist]

Former NBA star Gilbert Arenas powered the Sporting Press Bullnuts over the Bethel Baptist Righteous. Arenas had 48 points in the 48-20 beat down.

According to SP coach Bucky Hostetter, it is “damn great to have a player like Arenas, someone who can actually put the ball in the basket. The Bullnuts might just win the whole dang thing this year.”

The Enid Nazi Party is next up on the schedule.

[SP Bullnuts Demolish Enid Nazi Party]

This just in from last night...

Former NBA star Gilbert Arenas powered the Bullnuts to a lopsided 49-7 victory last night over the Enid Nazi Party. Arenas scored 49 points while Buster Haskell had 4 and Junior Smith 3 for the Nazis.

According to SP coach Bucky Hostetter, “The Bullnuts is rollin’ now.”

The Enid Nazi Party is so named because they are a partying bunch. As Haskell observed, “we want people to know we’re partyers, you know crazy American guys. We found out that most of the party names are already taken, plus the democrats and republicans said we couldn’t use their names. Fuckers. A party is a party ain’t it?”

Next up for the Bullnuts is the Chickasha Limb Drop-off Site Maintenance Crew Banshees.

[Arenas Quits Sporting Press Basketball Team]

Gilbert Arenas has resigned from the Sporting Press Bullnuts. His resignation today sparked turmoil on the Sporting Press basketball team.

"Oh Lordy!" screamed Bullnuts coach Bucky Hostetter. "What the hell are we gonna do? Gil was 100% of our offense and we got the Banshees coming in here on Sunday!"

[Banshees Annihilate Bullnuts; Season Over]

The Chickasha Banshees humiliated the Sporting Press Bullnuts 31-0 Sunday evening in Chickasha.

"Hell," complained SP coach Bucky Hostetter, "the dang refs was calling everything...forearm shivers, kidney punches, sucker punches, kicking, tripping, I mean everything we do on deefense."

With five minutes to go in the first half, all of the Bullnuts had fouled out and the game was called. After the game the rec league banned the Bullnuts from further competition, citing "insanely aggressive and dangerous play."

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According to SP coach Bucky Hostetter, it is “damn great to have a player like Arenas, someone who can actually put the ball in the basket.

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The Brickster has become a fan of sassy Lane Kiffin. Wondering what he's going to say to get in Frank Beamer's Fred Flintstone-sized head. Brick's Pick: Beamer gets the last laugh.

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According to SP coach Bucky Hostetter, “The Bullnuts is rollin’ now.”

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Once they had to stop playing each other exclusively and a PAC 10 team in the Rose Bowl, the world realized what was really up.

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Couple of other good ones at the Bakery, as well. On Tuesday bassist Kyle Eastwood has a quintet there, a fine outfit, including trumpeter Jon Papenbrook, tenor Doug Webb, pianist Han Zermuehlen and drummer Joel Taylor. Eastwood is Clint’s son, steeped in jazz since birth most likely. It’s an interesting range in players, with Taylor usually wailing in a heavy-fusion style at the Baked Potato; and Webb is a quintessential modern hard-bop player. On Wednesday the great trumpeter Randy Brecker begins his four-night Bakery stand with the exceptional local quintet of saxist Bob Sheppard, pianist Patrice Rushen, bassist Hamilton Price and drummer Gerry Gibbs. Chops heaven.

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If you’re carrying a lighter wallet these days, fear not, you have options, too. Multisaxist Dale Fielder is a blow-out-the-room favorite, playing a very muscular hard-bop/straight-ahead/new-thing jazz, and the high-ceilinged Gallery Bar at the Biltmore Hotel downtown will be ringing with his solos on Friday. He’s got the killer players, too, with pianist Tateng Katindig, bassist Jeff Littleton and drummer Thomas White behind him. Crazy stuff at the Café Metropol, too, on Friday, when bassist Ryan McGillicuddy presents his new Sigmund Fudge with pianist Joe Bagg, guitarist Jamie Rosenn and drummer Jason Harnell. Straight-ahead in places, off-the-edge in others. Music runs from 8 till 10 p.m., and there’s a slight cover charge.